On our way

I hand wrote this last week on the bus and with my busy week just now got to typing it up and posting! Enjoy....

Hello Everyone from the great city of New York (or rather currently the bus on my way to NYC)!  Katie and I were invited a couple months ago to attend Sun Multisports TriMania Expo and Convention in New York City this weekend.  My friend and fellow triathlete, Carrie lives in Manhattan and offered us a place to stay.  We found cheap bus tickets and are currently on our way.

The last two weeks have been low volume training and a welcome break physically and mentally.  Monday starts our experiences with 9 workouts in 6 days of the week.  Two-a-days are normal until we race in July, only 17 more weeks.

I have started having dreams nightmares about racing and training.  I have to figure out a way to combat those doubts and the fear I am realizing is there beneath the surface... It is such a mental battle, I mean I can swim it now and I could bike it (even if it was slower than it should be) and will be able to run it within 6 weeks.  I trust Helene and that she will get me there, but some days are really hard.  Wednesday was one of those days.  Katie and I had a training session with Helene on our bike trainers.  Katie had a great workout but me... well I had a mental battle to keep my legs moving fast enough.  90 cadence seemed so hard to maintain I also discovered that I hold onto the handlebars too hard.  So trying to sit properly is initially really uncomfortable.  I am grateful for the new saddle on my bike but I realized just how much additional work I need to do with my core.  That ride was great and terrible at the same time.  Great because I was pushed beyond where I would have gone on my own and terrible because I got really annoyed that I couldnt seem to get my body to do what I wanted it to.  Helene said it was in my head and I am sure she is right, but I am not sure how to change the messages there from "I cant" to "I CAN and I WILL"

The doubts, however subconscious, are infecting my sleep and dreams.  Last night I had a dream that Helene told me I couldnt do it and would never make it through the race... It shook me up just a bit.  I am working really hard to get ready to complete that race.  Helene is working really hard to get me ready to complete that race... I need to believe that I can do this - the other day (in real life) Helene reminded me of a quote by Henry Ford, "Whether you believe you can or believe you can't you are probably right."  So I choose to believe and work like I believe it.

So... positive self talk along with ALL OUT TRAINING and a lot of prayer!

Goggles On!